“Success” is such a bitch…

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We cannot see God.
But we believe in Him.
We’re convinced He exists.
We accommodate our life according to His rules.
We do what He said we’d do.
It’s a matter of faith and trust.

We cannot see the Mhz or VHF frequencies, but they exist. They are everywhere on the air around us. We believe in their existence because we use machines able to capture them, ie. TVs can translate the signals into audiovisual content; radios catch them and convert them to voice.

We cannot see “Wifi,” but we know it exists. The Internet cannot be seen either. We know it exists. Our PCs are the machines that “translate” data to what we see and hear.

Similarly, we do not need proof to believe in that when using a cell phone we can hear and talk with people.

Anyone that believes in a(ny) religion does not require proof; their faith and trust are enough. For technology, the evidence is there, and we accommodate our life with remote controls, cell phones, and computers.

We do not SEE the frequencies of Success either.

But… Some people “receive” them, some not and some others can even VISUALISE their forthcoming success in their “brain’s projector.”

You have two choices here.

You can choose to believe in that argument in good faith, trust it and accommodate your life accordingly.

Or, you can deny the argument by arguing that Success’ waves do not exist, because no tangible proof proves the opposite.

Whatever you choose, you may realize now that BELIEVING in your forthcoming Success actually is a matter of CHOICE and the choice is yours.

That’s what Henry Ford meant when he said:

“Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t — you’re right.”

Henry did not innovate with his quote in any way.

Over 2,000 ago, Aristoteles had already addressed that in his own way:

Re-read this:

“…choice, not chance, determines your destiny.”

And he added”

“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act but a habit.”

I remember my grandfather used to joke me by asking every time he saw me reading books:“OK… I see you read it… but… do you UNDERSTAND what it says?” If you believe that Success has frequencies and some people can catch them while some others not, then chances are you’ve read many books on that topic; but… if you understood what they “say” then what’s the “missing point” in your life?

If you prefer a gentle way:

“What stops you from reaching your Land Of Success?”

Why are you not there today?

Your answers will vary from “I have no idea” to “I know what I do wrong but ____” you can fill in space with whatever argument you want to use.

But the counter-argument will always be Henry Ford’s quote:

“Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t — you’re right.”

We only live once.

Religious people believe that the real Success in their life will be their placement next to God in life after death. I am not here to argue that. I am a Christian, do respect all religions, but what I am talking about here has nothing to do with that level of belief or faith.

I also understand you when you may say that the kind of “Success” I am talking about is a subjective matter because one can define it as X, another one as Y.

I am not referring to that kind of Success though.

Instead, I am referring to the Success the way you’ve been thinking about it BEFORE you quit from believing in its coming in your life. I am also referring to the Success you want to reach but someone she flies away when you feel you’re so close to her. I am talking about THAT Success.

My definition for THAT kind of Success has a name, and her name is FREEDOM.

Unfortunately or not, we live in a society that expects from you to have money if you need hospitalization. You need money to send your kids to high school, then to University and then help them to build their careers. You need money to take care yourself and your loved ones, today and in the long future when you’re both be old, and you will either be helpless of sufficed and blessed enough to take care of yourself without the need of a physical help from others.

Freedom, that’s the type of Success that money can buy. Freedom from society’s restraints, financial obligations and all obstacles put ahead.

Freedom to spend your time in a way you always wanted to. Recall how did you vision your life would be when you were a kid when everything seemed to be so possible. Are you happy from the results? Because FREEDOM is the common denominator for all the dreams, anyone had as a kid. Don’t you agree?

I argue here and please be gentle with my argument, think about it before you reject it, that…

…it’s tough to understand what the Success-related books have to say.

When I was doing my Masters degree, I had to read Durkheim. I could recognize all the English words one by one, but all together made no sense to me. I could read him, but could not understand what he wanted to say. It’d be my English; I do not know. What I know is that I remember it as a nightmare, as the realization of my inability to understand his words.

What do you NOT understand about what the books say about Success?

That was the question I posed to myself too. I am a relentless judge of myself to the extent that, this exact behavior led me to depression because I could hardly excuse myself. I had always been a good student as an effort to prove to my father that others are not cleverer than me. It was a wrong mindset. Sometimes you cannot be more intelligent than many people, and in fact, you should not be either; it’s not needed, that is. One day I collapsed. The stress throughout those years to prove myself as the cleverest of the people in my environment hit my brain and body. I do not want you to feel the way I felt. I do not wish it even to my worst enemy — not that any exists, but you get the point.

I want to underline here that what makes the difference between prosperous and not prosperous people is the way they SEE things and the WAY they “translate” everything in their brain.

You cannot, and it’s not safe either to see an eclipse with naked eyes. But you can use a tool and see it — black glasses that is.

You cannot know everything. But you have a choice to either learn from your mistakes or borrow the wisdom from those that had been “there” (where you are right now), and today they are where you want to be in the future. It’s a matter of a choice.

You have a choice:

Learn by failing, or borrow the knowledge from a coach you trust.

Learn by what ghostwriters tell you in the books you read, or by the ones that wrote their life in books you have not read.

Like it happens in religion, believing in a coach or a mentor is a matter of faith.

Like it happens in technology, belief in a coach or a mentor is a matter of proof too because you are able to judge by what he has done already in his life and business.

Success IS a matter of choice then — and Aristoteles was right.

The difference though between you and me is that I have been there, where you are right now. But you are not here where I am standing right now. The events in my life, the times I died inside me and resurrected my faith again, the results of my depression and the way I overcome it are all details you do not need, because eventually:

You may be surprised though when I say that depression was an excellent teacher in my life. There was no other way to reach that mindful level of dealing with life and people so to be able to survive. Had I not been hit by depression I’d have no clue for many details happening in life, which I ignored.

I’ll finish my monologue here with the argument that stands as the last frontier to the majority of people and the “final” excuse for their situation:


“Hey, John… I know what you’re saying, but I have no choice because I do not have money. I am alone in this journey, and that is the reason I have not reached my land of success.”

There is only one answer to that argument and please forgive my language:


This is bullshit because when you reach that so-called land of success, you will be asked so many times to FIND the money to maintain your position and status that makes it a no-brainer to stop telling “I do not have money” and start thinking “How can I make the money I need?;” And while you will have no clue how to generate that money, at the same time, you will need to honor deadlines and have the cash handy in due time — because that’s how Success trains people.

That’s why I use that language as an answer to that common question.

There was a day when I accepted as a de facto truth that Success does not care if I have the money or not. I was telling her this is not fair. But she kept answering me “Bullshit. Find the money.” And she was also telling me the same thing: “When you reach the status you want to become, you will be asked many times to find the money you need, and only you can do that, and you won’t be able to step back from your obligations.”

Yes… finding the money IS THE challenge. “Finding that money” is your first assignment towards your forthcoming Success, and you’re all alone to improvise, and find the way. The very first step towards your Success is to find a solution and overcome the money-obstacle, and this won’t be the last time you will need to do that in your life. In most of the cases, financial burdens will not allow you to get the knowledge you need — or better the understanding you need, or to get the tools you need — like the black glasses that will make it possible to see the eclipse.

Life is cruel, but she is also fair.

One day Picasso went for a coffee, the waitress recognized him and asked him if he could draw her portrait. He said, of course, give me a paper and a pen. In 10 minutes he said, here is your picture, do you like it? The waitress thanked Picasso and tried to get the portrait in her hands. Picasso said, “it costs 10,000 dollars. The waitress asked “10,000 dollars for what took you 10 minutes to create?” And Picasso answered “My dear, it took me 10 years to teach myself to draw this in 10 minutes.”

That’s it, folks.

You can choose to go alone.

Or you can choose to do whatever you must do for your freedom.

Because your Success is really a matter of choice…

…and Only Results Count — no matter what, no IFs, no BUTs.

Be wise.

Written by

LL.B., MSc, Writer, Success Coach — https://JohnDelavera.com

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